A Trainwreck

A Trainwreck

i have naivite in my heart
but old enough to know better
from a magazine rack full of issues
down to words on tear stained letters
too lazy to change
i leave everything to fate
then start grasping at straws
as my world crumbles under the weight

of disaray

same old shit everyday
i try to explain myself to you
but i don't have the right things
to say
you look at me and see a diamond
in the rough
i look in the mirror-
can't stop wincing at the picture
and see a woman going through too much

stuff

and your compassion will never be enough
i throw pity parties and send mass invites
then wonder why people run out on me left
and right
a part of me hopes you'll never see the light
i don't want to lose you
so i throw emotional darts to confuse you
willfully exchanging sex for love
to mask the fact that i mentally abuse

you

yes, i'm afraid that is true
so now that you've seen my hand
ask yourself if this option is for you:
stick around for the sex
and hope that things will get better
knowing all about the issues
and the many tear stained letters