Dark Solitude

Dark Solitude

A crack in the sky
Lightning racing across the
horizon
Lights flickering
I grab my candles
Cutting off the electricity
and humming to myself
Earlier I demanded to be left
alone
and I got my wish at the
wrong time

I reach for my cell
my fingers dialing your
number
I get a recording and
hang up-
I left a message already today
I want you to hold me
Rock with me on the rug
back and fourth
Taking my mind off the
thunder claps

Soon the storm blows over
The rain merely a spritz
The phone chimes and I catch
the first ring
I needed to hear your voice
To tell you that our argument
was foolish
We could be making love in
twenty minutes
Feeling you inside of me would
make me forget the names you
called me
I would ask you to forgive me for
my own ugly words

A familiar voice on the other side;
it wasn’t you, but someone dear
told me to pour myself a drink
It was our friend Patti who hooked
us up
I started to babble about our stupid
fight
She told me to shut up and drink,
fighting back tears
Immediately I felt hollow inside
I didn’t want Patti to continue
Tuning her out best I could, only
the words swerve, accident, tree and a
weepy “I’m so sorry, Bella!”

I cut the lights off again,
lighting candles while I cry
Ignoring the phone and knocks at
the door
I don’t want others to hold me
To tell me that everything was going
to be alright
From you
I knew that it was true
From everyone else
it’s all just pleasant lies to ease a pain
I refuse to let heal