Good Evening World

I'm clinging to my whisky glass and feeling bitter Every sip has me regretting things I've done in life Or things life has done to me The biting liquid stirs up demons in my soul I should stop drinking but I'm trying to forget the pain so pardon me

Someday Soon

maybe when things are clear
maybe when i can leave from right
here
walk until i can no more
until my dark moods disappear

...

Baby Got it Bad

Baby Got it Bad

i’m aching all over
can’t get warm
too many tears spilling
on bed sheets
i’m in the eye of the
storm
the phone refuses to
ring
my cigarette is burning
in the ashtray
my world is falling apart-
i didn’t get my fix
today

i can’t get it together
i’ve taken too many
aspirins within an
hour
a glass of scotch is
glued to my right hand
i haven’t eaten in two
days
i need a long hot shower-
fixing the mess which is
me
requires so much power

this state i’m in
makes me want to
peel my
skin
love and/or drugs
i’m crippled by my
addiction(s)

Clutter and Clarity

Clutter and Clarity

to view the real window into my soul
one must take a walkthrough of my
room:

comfort and cozy
items all around
i know where certain things are
other things will never be
found

hardwood floor used to
late night pacing
a coffee mug on the floor
after one of my late night
caffeine chasings

but there is a corner
where a modest laptop sits on an
immaculate tiny desk
away from clothes on the floor
next to a closet that’s a complete
mess

simple yet complex-
that’s who i am
when i plop down on the comforter
on my bed
this woman is truly her own
island…

Appetizer

Appetizer

fresh washed strawberries
cool
whipped cream
i feel your fingers intertwined
with mine
we carry the succulent tray of
delectable edibles
together to the
couch

scented candles arose the room
sitting on plush pillows
i stare at your juicy lips
and trace strawberry juice
on them;
your sexy pout has me hypnotized
a dollop of cream lands on my
chin-
you tongue tickles my face and
i am in swoon

we are looking into each others
eyes
our wanting is so evident
feeding each other
caressing faces and moving in
slow motion
our devoured food not satiating
a true hunger

i follow your footsteps to a bed
with rose petals all around
your kiss on my neck melts me
completely-
I am forever yours…

Long Sleeves

Long sleeves
In the summertime
Always dressed in black
The kids aren’t blind
I never sweat
I’ve always had a chill
Long sleeves hide my pain
While showing off my lack of
Will

Long sleeves
Even when it’s 90 degrees
So many people gawk
I wish they’d stop looking at
Me
Im just trying to make it
My nose constantly runs
My arms constantly itch
My pockets are so empty
I think I’m going to be sick

It’s a bitch

Long sleeves
Fool no one
My pupils are dilated
In a dark room or gazing into
The sun

Sometimes I want to wear a
Short sleeved dress
But I need my long sleeves to
Cover the mess
In my pit of despair
Life’s not fair
I’ll never find happiness

Soon I will need more than
Long sleeves
To help me…

Right to Die

The medicine stopped working
My body’s jerking
uncontrollably
I fall to my knees begging folks
To let me be
I’m full of toxins
My pores are cesspools
Veins pumping contaminated
Blood
One cut and people would die from
The flood
There’s no cure
I’m a twitching mess
Beyond sending calls of distress

my time is borrowed
i’m in panic mode
a total nervous breakdown
bodily functions shutting down
following my manic episode
i hear voices-
for once they’re not in my head
somehow I’m chained to a bed
condescending words float above
and bounce off walls like my body
was before
i see a woman carrying a tray walking
through the door
it can’t be more vials and needles
what would be the purpose
why can’t they let my body expire
i’m so tired-
no need to prolong others suffering…

my eyes connect with hers and I think she
understands my plea
by tomorrow I will no longer be

Pussyfoot

i feel your resentment

here you are giving me your heart
while I slice select parts of mine to
offer in return

i told you i was no good-
not merely misunderstood
you wanted to prove me and the world
wrong-
it was a cruel lesson to learn

you fell so deep down the well
i stride through shallow waters making
sure i don’t get too wet
but before you can drown
i cast out a safety net

it’s in my best interest

as long as you set out your bowl of cream
i’ll slink around allowing you to get lost in
your dreams
grip me too tight and I bite
loosen your hold and off I go
then you’re left alone crying about having a lover
so mean

anyway you choose, you lose

having a warm bed sometimes is better than
never
however, affections aren’t meant to be toyed with
when you see me walk out the door
you always wonder if we’ve had our last kiss…

That Place

That Place

i let it happen

his hands were like
silk across my untouched
skin
so much warmth through his
fingertips
a magic spark i felt when
he kissed my lips
the buttons became undone
i wanted myself to be set
free
into the grass, surrounded
by wildflowers
out in the field right next
to the oak tree

he entered me

i was confused by the strange
sensation
he turned from the sweetest man
into a stranger
i searched for compassion in his
eyes but all i could see was the
danger
i was in
suddenly i didn't want this to
continue
i cried out but received the
back of his hand
i was being pushed down into
the coldness of the land
closing my eyes i prayed for
this to end
i begged God for forgiveness
for participating in this
sin

i brought it upon myself

soon, he raised his sweaty
body off of mine
i laid into the dirt as if i
had no spine
the look he shot me was of
pure disgust
i shot a look of my own of
total distrust
no words were exchanged
he went on his way
as the sun started to set
at that place is where i
continued to stay
casting my eyes at the darkening
sky
i had to ask the stars "Why?"

why did i let him kiss me
why did i smile went he winked
at me
why did i skip school and get
into his car
why did i let things go so
far

momma won't understand my torn
dress
the grownup smells i had and my
insides being a mess
ashamed i am for what was done
ashamed i am for what i have
become

that place, where the wildflowers
serenaded the big oak tree
that place that used to comfort me
that place where the honeysuckles
enticed the bees
that place now simply haunts me

that place...

Shaken, Not Stirred

I spend my days wandering
around an empty house
Closing window shades
keeping the sun from peeking inside
I’m so fidgety-
Straightening up tables and such
I don’t know what I’m waiting for
but someone is coming over

I’m a mess
I can’t get clean
My arms are a map of misery
Cuts, scratches and stabs
Burn marks and peeling scabs
I haven’t eaten in days
I have other things to think about

The doorbell rings;
it jars my senses
I’m half excited-half afraid
A little girl in search of her Teddy bear
The click of the lock makes me
jumpy
Everyone knows I leave a key under the mat
When the door opens
I bow my head in silence

Tears flow down and I kind of know why
a hand lands on my shoulder
I feel the cold steel against my cheek
My time has come to pay

“Mike hasn’t come through with the money?”
I ask already knowing the answer
Making the job easier I lay face down on the
Floor
I could have ran, tried to escape
But having been abandoned
I’d rather just go ahead and
die

The Valium for the Doll AKA “I want the same doctor my mother had! Or do I?”

After my mother divorced the lying, cheating, abusive, yet loving and charming man that was my dad (RIP) and uprooting my brothers and I, it seemed that we were always in so much fucking trouble. I don’t remember half the shit I did at four years of age to garner the screaming I got, but it happened whenever mom would come home from work. She was a stressed out, still young woman raising four leeches, 3 of which were either a teen or soon becoming one. One paycheck to buy the shit we ate, the clothes for our backs, the medicine for our colds and the toys we cried and moaned about. That’s four birthdays and a bitter bitch of a Christmas every goddamned year. Now, I’m not saying that she was this Super Mom or better than Ms. Partridge as other women did/does the same thing. However, how she kept her sanity, not run out in the middle of the night leaving a box of cereal and big salad bowl on the kitchen table or slit our throats while we were sleeping is nothing short of a miracle.

About a year after settling in, my mother seemed to be able to get things under control as best she could. Oh, she’d threaten to beat us if we didn’t shut the fuck up while she was resting. She’d swear that the TV would be off limits if we didn’t quit turning the channel knob (oh these kids today don’t have the joy of having a coat hanger hanging out the TV where the antenna was. Do they even know what an antenna is?!) like we didn’t have any sense. And if we didn’t stop running in and out her damned door letting the flies in, well…let’s just say we had a cap on how many times that front door could open. Made you truly rethink whether you needed that glass of water or not. One more door slam and it was automatic house arrest. Good thing we had friends so we could alternate between houses for piss breaks.

Suddenly a transformation of sorts came about almost on a daily basis for my mom. She could come home on the brink of a nervous breakdown after busting her ass at work only to be met with selfish kids begging for money, go into her room and maybe 15 minutes later emerge from said room a Stepford Mom. The music was too loud? “That’s ok.” Jumping on top of the furniture? “Don’t bust your skull sweetie.” Could my friends Yvonne, Margaret, Angelica, (you get the picture) spend the night? “Whatever honey…” Wow, it was great! She’d just step over the chaos and head into the kitchen and fix herself a cup of coffee, humming. As kids, we didn’t know how the angry monster was tamed whenever she went into her room and we couldn’t give a shit. What ever worked was fine by us. Then we started growing up and having kids of our own. Oh karma, fuck you! I often praised her for raising the four of us and she’d just smile and maybe let out a small chuckle. After what had been the billionth time I mentioned her strength in raising my brothers and I, she finally gave up the Ancient Chinese Secret: Valium. My jaw dropped, she shrugged and went on about her day. Those days were long ago, so she could care less what I thought. Only thing was I wasn’t judging my mother, I was jealous!

In the heyday of the 50’s through the 80’s, doctors would prescribe pills at the drop of a hat, and from what I understood they gave out the real good shit. Placidyls, Qualudes, Percocets, Percodans…just about anything beginning with “Per” or ending with “Dan.” The beleaguered housewife/mother favorites were Valiums. These little babies would guarantee that mommy’s little rugrat could live another day after pouring milk all over the place. This magic pill kept a mother’s hands from choking her dumbass kid for the skateboard flying through the window after telling him not to skateboard in the house for the 10th time that day. Also, these pills act very quickly making every mom taking them happy little drowsy compliant robots. Mommy gets kids ready for school. Mommy goes to work. Mommy comes home to messy house and bad report cards. Mommy has some alone time with Valium. Mommy cooks dinner and goes to bed without committing homicide/suicide. Everybody’s a winner, right?

My general practitioner (in other words “I’m not a psychologist!”) won’t remotely play ball. “But I’m stressed, depressed, have a lot on my mind, blah, blah, blah…” doesn’t move him an inch. I complain about stress, he mentions jogging. I whine too much about depression, he starts looking through referrals for local therapists. When I asked him why he wouldn’t prescribe Valium for me instead of the bullshit garden-variety libido killing depression meds, he told me that doctors nowadays rarely if ever prescribe them anymore-they do their job too well. After giving him the Scooby-Doo look of confusion, he firmly told me that are highly addictive, and it’s damned hard kicking the habit. When I asked him if they were “I’ll suck your dick for $5.” addictive, he started riffling through his shrink referrals again. Dejected, I leave his office only to play the game with him every month. To be honest, I don’t really want to be hooked on them or any drug. Besides, last time I checked Raisenettes were still legal.

I don’t look at my mother any differently. I still praise her and admire her for what she’s sacrificed for us. She, like other people of the time were prescribed medicine that today’s doctors wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole. Sure, you have the movie stars; singers and other celebrities that somehow have an arsenal of medicine that would make Keith Richards sentimentally weep. These same people wind up on any number of “Weren’t you…” type of TV shows and also a slave to the pills. Ok, I’ll say it: junkies. Luckily my mother wasn’t using Valium for long, as she didn’t like her growing dependence on them. So how did she manage to raise us without killing us then? I have one precocious daughter and I want to cry “Uncle” sometimes and that just makes my mother laugh her ass off. Maybe knowing that one day the pain in the ass kids you have will have similar, if not more kids than you have brings enough tranquility. Or maybe it was pot. Whatever it was, Karma, you’re still a bitch.

Funhouse

the chandelier fell to the ground
oh, it made such a magnificent
sound
tiny crystals everywhere-
dancing in the debris caused many
cuts on me
i’m staring at the sores where i continue
to bleed
but i don’t care
i’m getting ready to go on a roller coaster ride
at the fair
flying high until the clouds kiss me
not thinking about the people below who swear
that they miss me
now gravity is taking its harsh effect
crashing down, i have no safety net
i am becoming a nervous wreck
thank God there were more crystals around
more dancing, more sharpness jabbing into my
skin
back at the carnival, i’m inside a room that
spins
many times the sun has come and left again
i’m being forced to leave the fun and games behind
the carnival owner told me i couldn’t afford any more
good times
violent images are flashing through my mind
i’m not too familiar with this strange place
i don’t remember any of these people’s faces
things seem to be so horribly wrong
i cry yet no one seems to hear my pleading
song
why am i being kept from the sky where i belong?
i keep hearing whispers about how lucky i am to be
alive
my mom and dad are here, but they won’t offer me a
lift-
they just babble on about how my life is a precious gift
if only they could experience an ounce of the pain I’m dealing
with
closing my eyes, i can’t help but continue to cry
i share my tears with my family as i beg them to help me
die

Making Deals with the Grim Reaper

my troubles i try to keep to myself
i hate to drag others down
in the murky waters of my pain they might drown
so i self medicate in order to ease my mind
do not judge me, sometimes i'm my own worst enemy
so to the dives, the gutters and the "candy" houses i roam
staying home becomes hard and i start to go crazy
well meaning folks give sermons until i start to feel hazy;
their words harming my psyche instead of really saving me
the people i meet never really ask questions
i keep them guessing with every sip, every pill popped
memories fly by as my eyes flutter, i no longer suffer
warmth wraps me in a cocoon in the corner of a room
i lay in my spot, lazy smile creeping on my face
in the filthy surroundings i never feel out of place
when i come back to earth, those warm feelings are replaced
i dust myself off and return to my abode
back from my hours long vacation, my loved ones i'm now facing
they surround me, taking my space and making it heard to breathe
spitting out a bunch of "You need tos" making me want to leave
until i feel one of my young nephews tugging on my sleeve
i feel betrayed, but start crying when i hear what he had to say:
"Auntie, I love you. Please don't disappear anymore!"
i give him a hug, kiss his cheek then head for the door
my mind's racing, i grab my cellphone but don't know who to call
back into the night, i stalk the streets until the daylight
when will everyone learn that my battles are my own to fight

First Person Shooter

I find myself in a stand-off position
You’re trying to keep your wallet and taking it
is my mission
Use any cliché you want to validate my
Stance
You bypassing me on this street with your money?
Not a chance
My ribs are touching, my kid needs clothes and my
sister’s going to the clinic
Tears are streaming down your face
You’re trying to reason with me like I’m gonna
grant you 15 minutes
The look in your eye is defiant
Go ahead and try it
Please believe that I’m holding my nine
Who gives a fuck if you’ve been robbed before
After having dinner with your whore
Oh well, shit’s happening one more time
So now you’re holding something shiny
Hands shaky, your weapon is pointing at my
dome
My hammer’s cocked, loaded and locked
When all is said and done, I’ll be the one heading
home
My out stretched hand is getting tired, man
Gimmie your shit and realise that you just got
got
Otherwise, fuck it, I’ll go ahead and buck it
Snatch your shit up anyway-just another dumb ass
That chose to get shot
See there you go, wise choice you tossing the
wallet and gun on the ground
Before I grab my prize, I look you in the eyes and
See there’s not another soul to be found…
BLAM!
Nothing personal, can’t leave any witnesses around.

Mental Gun to My Own Head

If I didn’t put all of my thoughts
my emotions
my heart on paper
I’d be like a lost soul
roaming around in search of
a savior
Like those guys walking around
mumbling incessantly to imaginary
friends
Emptying their heads for days on end
I can’t go to sleep while my brain
continues our conversation
I become a midnight marauder
Only it’s my mind that partakes in the
slaughter
Tales of sexuality, mental issues,
abuse in all kinds of forms
The ink coming from a never ending
supply of my life’s blood
My head a reservoir after all of my
brainstorms
At times it’s therapeutic,
sometimes I write to music
I have this fear that if every idea
I get isn’t copied the minute I get it
I’d lose it
I know what it’s like
to sit up night after night
Getting cramps in my hands
and crying because I’m too tired to
write
Taking something to zone out
Crawling into my bed
But something makes me get up
So I often pass out at my desk
instead
In this ongoing battle
my body and brain each wants
control
My sanity is the prize
Consider this message an SOS from
my soul

Joy From the Pain of Others

i find happiness in a another person’s
tears
their whimpers, their desperation, frustration
and fears
when all signs of hope have faded
when sadness lingers around
my smiles become evident-while everyone else
recovers from having their lives crashing
down
superiority fills me up-
if only for a moment
while others wonder where their joy in life
went
it’s selfish of me, that I’m fully aware
but something mean deep inside me simply choose
not to care
however
while my apathetic ways are widely known
i wonder
will someone just like me smirk when i have tears
of my own

Consequences after the Clock Struck Twelve

I deserved every strike and blow across my face
The stomping of the boots these kids were giving me
made my insides scream out
The kicking, the spitting and throwing trash all over
me made me vomit
But I refused to put up a fight
I opened my arms and welcomed the abuse like a long
lost son
One of the teens pissed on me and I willingly bathed in
the acrid smelling liquid
Soon one of the kids realized that I seemed to enjoy the pain
and summoned his crew to leave
“Sicko!” he yelled at me and gave me one last kick in the
back for good measure

I’m known for being the town kook; the one parents pulled their
children away from when they see me walking down the street
They pointed their fingers at me and gave me angry looks
At the time, I did nothing to garner such treatment
I always gave to the transients lying on the street; handing out
food only to have it thrown back at me-
They never throw the money back, but then again who would
I visited soup kitchens to help out but always got turned away
I could never find someone to play chess with me in the park
On Halloween, kids never visited my house for candy-
after awhile I stopped going to the store and buying it
No one wanted to have anything to do with me,
until one day I came across a man stumbling out of a bar

He was so handsome, and was actually smiling at me
I turned around because I just knew his attention wasn’t for me
He half walked, half stumbled over to me and asked me my name
“Rose” I answered and found myself blushing for the first time
in a long while
he told me his name was “Andrew” and threw his arm around me
Andrew told me that I was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen,
But I knew that it was the alcohol he’d drank that was talking
I asked him if he wanted a cab home, but he told me that he
didn’t want to go anywhere unless it was with me
I giggled, but he insisted, then gave me a hug and to feel his
warmth on me was like a slice of heaven; I couldn’t resist
I drove him back to my place so that I could receive more affection
I hadn’t had shown me in ages

We sat down on my couch and he wanted a little more to drink
I fixed him a Vodka Tonic and he was happy when I handed him the glass
I did most of the talking while he sipped and laughed
Then he pulled me close and placed a kiss on me that left me speechless
“You are so beautiful…” he kept repeating over and over like some kind
of mantra
A fire sparked inside of me that I though long extinguished
Still, I pulled away when he tried to kiss me again
“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea…” I started while pacing the floor
He grabbed my hand and told me that he didn’t want to be anywhere else
at the moment
I reminded him that he was drunk and not thinking clearly
“What if I brought you hear to do you harm?” I asked sheepishly
He laughed it off and grabbed me and I landed in his lap; we kissed again
Soon, we made our way to my bedroom

He took off his clothes and threw them in a heap on the floor
I hesitantly started shedding some articles before cutting off the light
“Why are you hiding yourself?” he asked, before reminding me how
beautiful I was again
Once more, I told him that we should not continue
I apologized but his demeanor changed and he became impatient
I knew what was happening was wrong, but that sexual need I had
went unheeded for so long that I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to
Andrew forgot about the lights as he entered me, kissing my neck and
running his fingers through my hair
His skin felt like silken gold against mine as he clutched my hands just
as we both neared climax
I literally had tears of joy as Andrew lied down next to me and fell asleep
in my arms
I finally felt like the luckiest woman in the world

The morning brought forth a familiar coldness as Andrew pushed me
out of bed
He demanded to know what those sores I had on my arms and legs
were from, but before I could explain he slapped me hard, knocking me
down
Blood trickled from the side of my mouth
He then went to my medicine cabinet and found the many pill bottles I had
Before he could come at me again, I locked the door to my room and
threatened to call the police
Andrew called me such filthy names before accusing me of trying to kill
him; that hurt me to my core
I heard a few things crash in my livingroom before Andrew slammed the
door
I tried to warn him, albeit feebly
We both were foolish but it is I who should shoulder most of the blame

So there I was, lying in pain on the ground in an alley where mice were scampering
past my face
Every since that night about a week ago, everywhere I went I heard more whispers
than I normally did
Eyes that watched me like a hawk before burned even harsher into my fragile skin
The fingers pointing at me doubled and when I walked past the bar Andrew came
out of the owner spotted me through the window and slammed the door shut
One particular day that I decided to take a short cut home from the local store
a bunch of kids surrounded me, calling me things Andrew did that night
Were some of them his relatives, maybe a younger brother or cousin perhaps
They began taunting me, yet no one came to my defense
There were people in the street, but they turned their backs to me and shunned
me, leaving me helpless
I tried to run, but there were too many and I soon found myself trapped in the alley
The first kid had sandy hair like Andrew and he shot the first punch that knocked
me down in a heap
Then the kicking and spitting followed, but I never put up a fight
Only after the vicious onslaught did I allow myself to cry
I laid on the ground until the sun made its way west and not a soul came to my
rescue

When I was well enough to move, it was then when I decided to flush all the AIDS medication in my medicine cabinet out
I was in so much pain, but I never called my doctor or the police
I haven’t eaten nor drank in three days as I began to feel weak, lying in all my filth
Each time I pass out I wonder it if will be the last time my eyes will see the ceiling
Hopefully God will prove merciful and not allow me to wake up the next time I fall
asleep

Breadcrumbs

i was heading home just the other day
but somehow i seemed to lose my way
i had left from a most beautiful place
there was this woman with a luminous face
she smiled and told me to not be a stranger
she didn't want me to go, told me that life was
full of danger
why was i leaving her all alone
when she was providing me with a wonderful home
all the gifts a person could ever own
i had to admit i was missing the love i was shown
that's why i left behind breadcrumbs

as soon as i went back to her loving arms
i became a slave to her luxurious charms
all alone just the two of us amongst the stars
everywhere she went i was never that far
behind her
although some have said that i've been blinded
by her
if my eyes are truly closed then i don't want to see
it's hard to describe how excited she makes me
and i know this isn't supposed to be my reality
so when i have a rare moment of clarity
i try to leave, then a wave of uncertainty overcomes me
and i feel numb
then i'm scrambling looking for those breadcrumbs

lately she has started showing me her jealous ways
punishing my attempts at independence for many days
turning her back on me so that i could feel the coldness
laughing as i crumble at her feet rendering me quite useless
how could such a loving lady become a bitter mistress
just because my true home had been left behind
and i had to take care of things as i haven't been there for
a long time
i head out into the world determined to never return
then i start shaking, running back only to get burned
this is an eternal lesson for me to learn
i'll always be looking for those breadcrumbs...

Even the Darkest Night is followed by a New Day

i'll never forget the night i was sitting
on the side of my bed
praying real hard while holding a loaded gun to my head
i've done enough crying, and wishing my struggles away
only to be hit with the same shit the next
day
my boss was on my ass on a daily basis
saying that he had enough with all the lateness
told me to get out of his face whining about my asthmatic
child, he reminded me that my problems were all my own
not one ounce of sympathy shown, so many evenings i had to
leave my ten year old alone at home
placing a loaf of bread on the counter, a couple slices of
lunch meat to eat in the fridge, so much for taking care of
my kid
reminding her not to answer the phone, open the front door
and to finish her chores after a ton of homework
i barely spend time with her after i leave work, the tv being
a babysitter
i'd give anything to be able to spend more time with her
but feeling myself falling apart with the weight of the world
on my shoulders
i wanted to blow my brains out, and not deal with the world being
colder
my finger on the trigger, about to cock and blast
my sweet little angel popped in my room, i had to stash the gun
away fast
looking into her sleepy eyes, my most cherished prize
it gave me the spark to change my whole way of thinking
life may not be full of joys, but i wasn't on a boat sinking
i kissed my princess, then tucked her back in her bed
then i fell to my knees, said another prayer with no tears shed
thanking God my child didn't find me in a pool of blood
dead

I Need to Use You

I know our relationship
is supposed to be give
and take
But today, baby it can’t be the same-
not even for our love’s sake
There’s so much shit going on
that it’s hard to explain
You’ll want to come over and
talk
But all I’ll feel is drained
Don’t worry-I want you around
There are things that you can do
This may sound cold and harsh
Simply
I need to use you

Please don’t question my needs
or try to fix what’s in my
head
I’m in selfish mode right now
Just comply with my wishes instead
Lay me down and caress me
Tell me things will be ok-
lie if you must
That’s all the words that need to be
said
You’re here strictly for lust
Sorry I can’t help you right now
I know you had a fucked up day
too
All those troubles will have to wait
When you come, I will use you

My body is yours-you know what
it needs
I close my eyes and anticipate
Your hands, your lips, your mouth,
and dick
I need release; it’s so hard to wait
Skin on skin; sweat dripping all
over
Make me scream so that I can
relax
I had to take you for granted this one
little night
Please know that I do love you
I’ll understand the day you’ll
need to use me back