Sunday, September 16, 2007

Even the Darkest Night is followed by a New Day

i'll never forget the night i was sitting
on the side of my bed
praying real hard while holding a loaded gun to my head
i've done enough crying, and wishing my struggles away
only to be hit with the same shit the next
my boss was on my ass on a daily basis
saying that he had enough with all the lateness
told me to get out of his face whining about my asthmatic
child, he reminded me that my problems were all my own
not one ounce of sympathy shown, so many evenings i had to
leave my ten year old alone at home
placing a loaf of bread on the counter, a couple slices of
lunch meat to eat in the fridge, so much for taking care of
my kid
reminding her not to answer the phone, open the front door
and to finish her chores after a ton of homework
i barely spend time with her after i leave work, the tv being
a babysitter
i'd give anything to be able to spend more time with her
but feeling myself falling apart with the weight of the world
on my shoulders
i wanted to blow my brains out, and not deal with the world being
my finger on the trigger, about to cock and blast
my sweet little angel popped in my room, i had to stash the gun
away fast
looking into her sleepy eyes, my most cherished prize
it gave me the spark to change my whole way of thinking
life may not be full of joys, but i wasn't on a boat sinking
i kissed my princess, then tucked her back in her bed
then i fell to my knees, said another prayer with no tears shed
thanking God my child didn't find me in a pool of blood

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